Exploring the depths of motherhood, I've come to learn that the feeling of 'mum guilt' can be a very normal expression. If I've ever experienced this feeling, I have tried to take a step back to understand what societal expectation or pressure might have made me feel this way.

In the context of returning to work as a breastfeeding mother, I've realised how hard it can feel to advocate for entitled pumping breaks.

In our fast-paced society, it's easy to feel like our needs are overlooked - especially in a busy environment where even our colleagues sometimes cannot stop in their busy day!

The truth is that life has never been so busy - but it's important we speak up for our rights as breastfeeding mothers.

For a start, we could educate others that the WHO recommendation is to continue breastfeeding up to 2 years of age and beyond. So let's stop asking mothers why they're still feeding their child, or how long they plan to feed for.

I urge you to question any feelings of inner guilt that you may experience when it comes to taking extra breaks for pumping. This feeling is based on societal pressure and expectations, and you are legally and ethically entitled to pumping breaks and support as you continue your feeding journey when returning to work

Infant sleep needs are not one-size-fits-all. Research has shown that babies have a wide range of normal sleep durations, which are influenced by genetics and individual difference. Expecting all babies to adhere to a specific 'wake window' overlooks their unique sleep needs.

Unfortunately, current popular sleep training methods in Western society enforce rigid routines that ignore these natural variations. Studies have revealed that infants' sleep times can vary greatly, ranging from 9 to 20 hours for newborns up to 8 weeks old, with slight variations at different ages (Galland et al., 2012).

Enforcing strict wake windows can disregard your baby's unique physiology and create communication confusion between you and your little one. This can disconnect families from their innate intuition instead of tuning into it.

In today's society, vulnerable and exhausted families often lack the support system that was once provided by a close-knit community. Consequently, they may resort to desperate searches for information online and on social media. Unfortunately, much of this information is not evidence-based and fails to consider the unique needs of each family.

Furthermore, it's important to consider different your neurotype.  Neurodivergent individuals may interpret information in a concrete and literal way.  The dominant first-wave behaviourism that exists currently in the area of infant sleep has many strict 'rules' and recommended routines, placing neurodivergent families at an increased risk of experiencing communication confusion and challenges during the postnatal period, leading to increased risk of anxiety and depression.

If you're struggling with your baby's sleep, please know there is an alternative to sleep training. 

For now, please ditch social media accounts telling you what routine to follow, ditch awake windows, and tune in to your babies’ unique cues and communication. 

You know your baby better than anyone.